Two Months

Well, we made it through Valentine's Day and today is two months since Colton passed. We went and visited him yesterday and today. There were several families visiting their babies yesterday and it was sort of comforting knowing we aren't alone. Everyone smiled and said hellos. Sort of knowing that we all belong to a club that we never wanted, but acknowledge our commonalities. I've said this before but never in my wildest imagination did I ever think I would find a cemetary a comforting place. But I truly do feel better when I go visit Colton. We have him in such a nice spot that I took some photos to share with all of you. I think you'll see something familiar on his gravestone. We really wanted something personal to Colton and what better thing to choose than his Colton's Calvary logo. All of you surrounded Colton with your love and that's what made up Colton's Calvary. Now he has your love with him forever.

For those of you who couldn't be there for his services, Donny and I thought today would be a nice day to share where he is and why we chose this place. At El Toro Memorial Park they have a section that is reserved just for babies and small children. It is called the Angel of Hope section. I took a photo of the angel that watches over all of our little loved ones. It is so very peaceful there and I always tell people if feels like pre-school. Colton is there with all his other little baby buddies and they can play together and have a good ol' time. Here are some more photos and descriptions of what you are looking at:

http://flickr.com/photos/29664626@N07/sets/72157613870756374/

I find it hard to believe two months have gone by...that is half the time that we had him with us. Donny and I are definately back into the day to day groove of life but in the same breath we seem to miss Colton more and more each day. Its strange that you can cry and smile all at the same time.

Rain

It hit me this afternoon. Rain reminds me of Colton. I've always loved the rain, the sound it makes on the roof, the smell of it in the air. But now it feels different. The day Colton died, the skies literally opened up. It was some of the heaviest rain we have seen in Southern CA in a long time. Most of the week following his death when we were planning his funeral, it rained. Donny and I spent hours sitting on the couch, looking at photos of Colton and making a slideshow for his service. Then, on Christmas Day it was cloudy but no rain. We really wanted to go visit him at the cemetary and wouldn't you know it, as soon as we stepped out of the car it started to rain.

I went to Colton's grave today to put his Valentine's flag back up (we have to take everything down and put it up again each week for the groundskeepers) and it was windy and starting to sprinkle. That's when I knew that I would never hear, smell, feel or see rain in quite the same way again. It's not a sad feeling, just one of familiarity and remembrance. I just get transported back to those days where Colton felt like he was still with us. So today, I'm thankful for the rain, it makes me feel close to my baby.