Rain

It hit me this afternoon. Rain reminds me of Colton. I've always loved the rain, the sound it makes on the roof, the smell of it in the air. But now it feels different. The day Colton died, the skies literally opened up. It was some of the heaviest rain we have seen in Southern CA in a long time. Most of the week following his death when we were planning his funeral, it rained. Donny and I spent hours sitting on the couch, looking at photos of Colton and making a slideshow for his service. Then, on Christmas Day it was cloudy but no rain. We really wanted to go visit him at the cemetary and wouldn't you know it, as soon as we stepped out of the car it started to rain.

I went to Colton's grave today to put his Valentine's flag back up (we have to take everything down and put it up again each week for the groundskeepers) and it was windy and starting to sprinkle. That's when I knew that I would never hear, smell, feel or see rain in quite the same way again. It's not a sad feeling, just one of familiarity and remembrance. I just get transported back to those days where Colton felt like he was still with us. So today, I'm thankful for the rain, it makes me feel close to my baby.