5 Months

Today is five months since my little Colton returned to heaven. I'd like to share a poem written to him by my friends Paul, Lori and Melissa Lorenz. It says so much of what I feel every day and especially on days like this.

The Gift of Colton

So many of us never got to meet you,
yet we feel as if we know you like family

You never got to come home
Yet home is where the heart is,
and you'll live in our hearts forever

You never got to walk in the grass
yet you left footprints on our hearts
and we will never be the same

You were only with us for a short time
yet you taught us life-long lessons about love,
hope, faith, and courage

We prayed for you,
We fought for you,
We loved you,
We miss you,
We will always love you,
We will never forget you.

In memory of a brave soul, Colton Chilla, who graced us with his presence for too short of a time, but will live in our hearts forever.

Thank you to the Lorenz family for putting these feelings into such beautiful and perfect words. To my little Colton....until someday my little pumpkin!

I am Colton's Mom

My precious boy. What can I say about today? It was both wonderful and sad. I think back to last Mother's Day when you were still in my belly. I had yet to feel you kick and yet to see your face. I had yet to feel your warm skin and yet to smell your wonderful smell. Last Mother's Day was filled with such anticipation thinking about this year and how it would be. We had so little time together on this Earth but I treasure every minute. I got to know your expressions. I got to know every part of your face. I fought for you every day you were here. As I sat with you today at your grave I wished I could hold you again but know that you are at peace. You had such a struggle when you were here that I'm happy you are resting. I am lucky Colton, because good friends and family are in my life to help me remember that I am a mom today and every day. I feel so blessed to be your mommy, to have had such a special boy. I knew when I looked into your eyes that you were an old soul, wise beyond the short time you were here. I still feel so connected to you, even now. But I guess that is because of one simple thing...I am your mommy. A hard day is coming to a close, but know that I would rather have a hard day today than to have never been your mommy. I love you so much. 'Til someday my little man..