There is so much sadness surrounding a loss. There is a hole in my heart that I know will never go away, no mater how much happiness I will go on to find. I've had a hard time this week anticipating Colton's birthday, remembering my hospital stay and reliving the moments that led to his birth. I'm trying to feel the things I wasn't able to last year so I can be in the moment and hopefully continue to heal and move along on my journey. But, that sadness has brought with it some huge gifts. Today was a great example of those gifts.
I went to visit Colton today to do my usual Thursday flower drop-off. I met my friend Kristen, who's son is also buried by Colton. Kristen is such a gentle soul, overflowing with warmth and compassion. She has walked my walk and is such a source of strength. I've never been one to "need" people. I've always been fiercely independent and never liked to rely on others. Through the loss of Colton, I have had to learn to accept what others offer and ask for help. I believe that losing Colton has made me a better person. I know I will never be that same person I used to be, but that's ok. I think I'm a better version of myself. I know that gift comes from Colton. There are times when I believe he plays such an active role in making things happen.
While Kristen and I were visiting our boys today, we saw a family pull up to the baby section. This is never a good sign, because we knew that they had lost their child. As the family walked the cemetary, clearly in shock and draped in grief, Kristen and I both looked at each other and knew what a hard journey they had ahead of them. As time went by, various family members came up to us to inquire if we had children there and to share with us about their precious Hailey, who they had lost only two days ago. We spoke with both mom and dad and shared hugs, tears and stories about our children. There is an immediate bond that is felt among parents who have lost children. I walked away today from visiting Colton and realized that he is doing his work from heaven. He helps bring together a special group of people, allows me to forge new relationships with special people I would not have otherwise met. He allows me to share his story with others who truly appreciate his spirit. My little man does so much for me, he reaches his hand down from heaven and guides me.
I went to visit Colton today to do my usual Thursday flower drop-off. I met my friend Kristen, who's son is also buried by Colton. Kristen is such a gentle soul, overflowing with warmth and compassion. She has walked my walk and is such a source of strength. I've never been one to "need" people. I've always been fiercely independent and never liked to rely on others. Through the loss of Colton, I have had to learn to accept what others offer and ask for help. I believe that losing Colton has made me a better person. I know I will never be that same person I used to be, but that's ok. I think I'm a better version of myself. I know that gift comes from Colton. There are times when I believe he plays such an active role in making things happen.
While Kristen and I were visiting our boys today, we saw a family pull up to the baby section. This is never a good sign, because we knew that they had lost their child. As the family walked the cemetary, clearly in shock and draped in grief, Kristen and I both looked at each other and knew what a hard journey they had ahead of them. As time went by, various family members came up to us to inquire if we had children there and to share with us about their precious Hailey, who they had lost only two days ago. We spoke with both mom and dad and shared hugs, tears and stories about our children. There is an immediate bond that is felt among parents who have lost children. I walked away today from visiting Colton and realized that he is doing his work from heaven. He helps bring together a special group of people, allows me to forge new relationships with special people I would not have otherwise met. He allows me to share his story with others who truly appreciate his spirit. My little man does so much for me, he reaches his hand down from heaven and guides me.
1 comment:
Thank you for continuing to share your story. You and Colton are always in my heart and thoughts. I love you lots.
Post a Comment