Labor a year ago

Last I left Colton's story, they had stopped labor. The days following were fairly uneventful, albeit uncomfortable. After about five days on the Mag I started to have real problems. I couldn’t breathe, every breath was like a knife in my shoulders. I couldn’t sleep from the pain. I was so tired and hopped up on meds that I was completely emotional. I felt helpless and looking ahead and how many weeks, I didn’t know how I was going to do it. That day the docs told me that they wanted me off the mag as it wasn’t a long term solution and my health was deteriorating. I panicked. I just knew that taking me off the mag was going to send me into labor. I expressed my concerns but they said there was no choice and they had other drugs to try. I had been doing well and they didn’t see any reason why I would go into labor.

They took me off mag, let me up for a shower and took out the cath. I felt like a new woman! The sense of relief and instant human-ness was great. If I could stay like this for the next weeks, I would be a-ok. I had my first decent night’s sleep (save nurses checking in on me every few hours). The next day I awoke feeling like I could get some work done and had a positive outlook. About 1pm I started to feel slightly crampy again. I said something to the nurse and she insisted that my contraction monitor wasn’t picking anything up. The day progressed, I continued feeling crampy. I asked several more times to move the monitor, etc. Nothing. I ate dinner at 6 and was really starting to get crampy. At shift change my new nurse came in (someone I knew from previous night) and told her that I didn’t feel right, and didn’t think the monitor was picking up right. She moved my monitor and instantly picked up contractions. I was so angry! If we had caught this 5 hours before we could have gotten on some meds early instead of chasing labor the rest of the night.

They checked me and I was still at 3cm. Good. Put me on oral tributalene extra dose. I felt like a crack addict. I started watching the printout from the contraction monitor like a hawk. An hour goes by, no change. They inject with me IV tributalene. Really feel like a crack addict. Shaking, heart racing. They wait another hour, no change. I’m dilated to 4cm at this point. Time for the mag. They have to try and cath me twice and give me a double loading dose of mag. I instantly throw up dinner and continue to vomit in between contractions. I’m in active labor now and am gripping the bed through each contraction. This is what I imagined labor would feel like. They give me more tributalene and keep the mag drip high. They won’t give me anything for the pain, I just have to grit my teeth through it. I am amazed at how fast time goes by. I look up and its almost 11pm. They check me again and I’m at 6cm. Not good. Nurse seems to be getting worried. I’m worried, but can’t really focus on anything other than the pain. Maybe that’s a good thing? I tell my husband to call the families, because in my gut I know what’s going to happen. There is nothing left to give me at this point except more of the same drugs. I’m shaking violently, I’m throwing up, I’m in excruciating pain, I feel like I’m on crack and I can’t see straight. I felt so awful that I finally told my husband that I didn’t think I could do this anymore. I’m strong, but not this strong. The nurse checks me again (am getting no relief from contractions anymore) and says that I’m at 10cm. Stupidly I ask what that means. She says, you are having this baby. Like anything could be any more surreal at this point, it is. About 7 nurses, 3 docs enter the room. I feel like it’s an onslaught. I ask if I can have an epidural and they actually say yes. The anesthesiologist has to do it w/ me lying down. As soon as those meds were on board I felt really weird like I was going to pass out. So, they give me more drugs, load me with ephedrine to raise my blood pressure. I started to feel the effects of the epidural in a good way. Didn’t get rid of the pain, but took the edge off. Things were moving fast, they moved me into a delivery bed and told me to push. Again, didn’t have time to process, just had to act. I pushed for a half hour and nothing. The docs all left because they thought he was going to come slowly. Only took about two more pushes and he was on his way. So another mad rush to get everyone back in the room.

We had asked before what to expect. We were told not to expect much as he is very early. He wouldn’t cry, we wouldn’t hold him, etc. I think I expected something that didn’t even look much like a baby. Colton came out and instantly cried. It sounded like a cat’s meow. I couldn’t cry. I don’t know what I was even feeling at that point. I just craned my neck to try and see what they were doing to him. They were trying to intubate him and were having some trouble. But I kept hearing things about good color and high Apgar scores. They whisked him away to the NICU while they kept working on me. I think I was in shock.

We were able to go see Colton at about 4am in the NICU. I was wheeled up and we saw him in the isolette. He was so tiny at 2 lbs. (but big by their standards) but looked like a perfectly formed, little baby. Nothing appeared wrong and we were told how well he was doing. It was a strangely peaceful few hours after that. We were naively optimistic and already deeply in love with our little Colton.

I reflect on this, on the eve of his birthday. Colton came into this world, already a fighter!